got to hang out with someone who I've come to be good friends with. It's strange how a relationship can change over such little time and be completely transformed. About 14 or 15 months ago, we shared many things together, experiences, memories, emotions, our lives. Then (we both realized it at some point, but unfortunately for her, I realized it first) we realized things just weren't working out. We weren't as happy with the relationship anymore and things had kind of fizzled out. So, we broke up, devastated both of us, her at first then it caught up to me. It was a rough time, she moved into a couple relationships that didn't work out and I sulked, lived my days in anger, not moving on with life. Then I got into a relationship that didn't work out. Nowadays, I'm living the life of a single man and she's in a relationship that seems to be working out well for her. There's a part of me that Sami still has that I don't want back, can't take back, and don't need back. It's just there, I gave a lot of me to her, some of it just remained permanent, and that's okay. But, when I talk to her and hang out with her, that part will be there. That part doesn't really do anything in particular except say "you remember this? man, what crazy times those were." And, it just makes me happy. When I was acting like a pissed off emo kid, I never thought I'd see the day that I would be friends with her and be glad that was where we were at with our relationship.
but, as a single man, I can't help but prowl around. I see cute, cool-looking women everyday, but I don't ever build up the courage of talking to them. I sometimes worry if I'm at all their type, I make assumptions. I assume that as far as college guys goes, they will be looking for a guy who's at least 6 feet tall, looks handsome, and other qualities I just don't have. I don't think I'm a bad-looking guy, I'm just totally out of shape and lack confidence to approach and talk to women. I think I need some help on this one. Either someone can talk to someone for me or I can just get some pointers. I wanna be in a healthy shape, but that kinda tough when I work 30 hours a week and do 13 hours of classes each week. I mean, it's clear that I have the time to do it, it's just that I value my free time to relax and value time with my friends.
My priorities need to shift, that much is clear. Less xbox, more crunches. I know the solution to the problem, it's just enacting that solution is what I need to do.
This is too long, goodbye.
Awww... that was sweet :)
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up too, You really are a great guy, you just gotta find a girl thats good enough for ya.